Do I Offend?

I heard through the small town grapevine that I have offended again and I feel rotten for it.

If it’s any consolation, I’m not myself right now. If you’ll remember the post I wrote around this time last year titled, I ATE MY KIDS, you’ll know that this happens to me every year directly before my birthday for some inexplicable reason. My fangs elongate and I become like the lion Marty, from the movie Madagascar, where I’ll eat you by accident and regret it later but unfortunately it will be too late.

Maybe I shouldn’t be publicizing my thoughts when I am in this bad space because I become more careless with my writing. Ya think?

The thing is, when I said that parents were sidling up to the bar to gain the courage for Karaoke I neglected to say that I would have been the first one downing a shot of tequila to get the courage if I had been in a better space and I also neglected to say that my boys favorite past time in hotel rooms is to run down the hallways barefoot and ding dong ditch, not that we approve of this behavior, but nevertheless it has been known to happen. I guess that I shouldn’t leave these important details out of the story.

As I try to explore my boundaries with my writing and break out of the box that I have put myself in, I may get myself into trouble and this is where you come in. This whole blogging thing is still new to me and I would benefit from your feedback. It’s not a one way street you know.

I am grateful for those friends of mine who have the wisdom and the courage to set me straight and let me know that it is okay to have creative license but if I am posting to the entire Universe I must be very careful with my message.

So do me a favor, if you read something that disturbs, upsets or resonates within you, start a dialogue with me and let’s see where it goes. It’s lonely out here and “I need my people, my people, take me to my people,” which reminds me of another song by Will.i.am from the movie Madagascar:

I’ve been around the world, in the pouring rain
Feeling out of place, really feeling strange
Take me to a place, where they know my name
Cause I ain’t met nobody that looks the same

I’m a fish out of water, lion out of the jungle
[He a fish out of water, lion out of the jungle]
I need my peoples, my peoples, take me to my peoples
THEY GOT JUNGLE FEVER, SHOW HIM SOME LOVE,
SHOW HIM LOVE.

Could I have someone, could I have someone,
To relate to, to relate to
Could I have someone, could I have someone,
To relate to, to relate to

See I’ve been traveling, been traveling forever
But now that I’ve found a home,
Feels like I’m in heaven

See I’ve been traveling, been traveling forever
But now that I’m home,
Feels like I’m in heaven

See I’ve been traveling, been traveling forever
But now that I’ve found a home,
Feels like I’m in heaven

Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven, heaven

Traveling the world, like a touring man
Been around the planet in the foreign land
I’ve seen things that I’ve thought I’ve never seen
Take me to a place where they live like me

I’m a lion out the jungle, fish out of the ocean
[He’s a lion out the jungle, fish out of the ocean]
I need my peoples, my peoples, take me to my peoples
THEY GOT JUNGLE FEVER, SHOW HIM SOME LOVE,
SHOW HIM LOVE

Could I have someone, could I have someone,
To relate to, to relate to
Could I have someone, could I have someone,
To relate to, to relate to

See I’ve been traveling, been traveling forever
But now that I’ve found a home,
Feels like I’m in heaven

See I’ve been traveling, been traveling forever
But now that I’m home,
Feels like I’m in heaven

See I’ve been traveling, been traveling forever
But now that I’ve found a home,
Feels like I’m in heaven

Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven,

Feels like I’m in heaven
Feels like I’m in heaven
I’m in heaven,

Oh and I’m feeling right at home
Feeling right at home
Feeling right at home
[I’ve been around the world]

Feeling right at home
Feeling right at home
Feeling right at home
Feeling like I’m in heaven,

It’s like I’m in heaven
It’s like I’m in heaven
I’m in heaven

It’s like I’m in heaven

I’m in heaven
It’s like I’m in heaven
I’m in heaven

Oh yeah

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32 Responsesto “Do I Offend?”

  1. Kristi Hoofnagle says:

    Jillian!!!! I most of missed something. I have not posted comments lately, but I still read your post. I have never found anything offensive. I find everything to be truthful. Just like in life Jillian, not everyone interprets things the same way. There is no way that you or anyone can reach out to everyone. Think about when you walk around a party. Sometimes conversations flow and sometimes they do not at all. The same with your writing, it will either flow with people or it won’t. Keep up the honesty!!!!!!!

  2. jody says:

    I never found anything offensive either! Never! Don’t be so hard on yourself.

  3. Meagan says:

    I agree with Kristi! My kids were watching a new show (to me) on Nick the other day. It was a show about acting and the main character was supposed to act out a scene before she could be selected as the lead in the play. She did it three times, and when she asked the teacher if it was ok, his response all three times was that she was not done with that scene. Finally, she yelled at him and said, “You know what! I liked that one. I worked really hard on that version, and I don’t really care what you think.” The teacher smiled and said, “You have passed the bird scene. When you are an artist, you create for creations sake and don’t worry about whether anyone else likes it.” Lucky for you Jillian, a lot of people like what you do too! Keep it up!
    .-= Meagan´s last blog ..Sometimes You Just Need a Daddy Globe =-.

  4. Katalin says:

    HI Sweetie,

    More I read you more I love you!!!
    I heard somewhere when we have to courage to put our selves out there, there will be all sorts of currents to “swim with.”

  5. Greta says:

    Agreed, never have I read an offensive word. To the offended, I say what I’ve told my kids for years… If you are pointing a finger at someone, you have three pointing back at yourself! (Which explains why my girls only ‘point’ with their chin. Seriously.) Or rather, work out your own problems, don’t blame them on someone else. So, dear Jillian, I say punch through that box, and pour me a tequila, bitch!

  6. Jo rafferty says:

    Facebook

  7. melanie wernick says:

    Oh my god…I soooooo need to intervene on this one…..JILLIAN….First of all, why do you portray your self to be some what insane? I know you better then anyone, you can be some what bitchy, and sometimes you might think you are always right, but coo coo..no (thats my department!) You are always clever, level headed, insightful, caring of others, compassionate (which i suppose is the same as caring of others!) a very good speller, spiritual, you even admit and realize when you are wrong, know how to say your sorry, full of praise. You are an incredible beautiful person. Really. You are. You are very special. People who know you should be privaliged (sp) to have your friendship.
    You know what your problem is…..you let others take away who you really are. You let others block how you feel and block how you write. How can you ever be a good writer if you hold back. These “woman” who are so concerned and so hurt and blah blah blah of how you write….theu should be ashamed of them selves. Do they have nothing else going on in there lives that they have to berate you for your writing. Do they have nothing more to do with there time then threaten you that you could loose there friendship because you write the truth. I know Aspen is small, but thought very cultured with intelligent, people.
    You are in trouble for writing about drunk lacrosse mothers and there out of control children……like what parent does not have the same issues? Parent hood is hard. Its even more hard to be a perfect parent. What is so wrong with you writing about it? Because some simple minded woman cant handle reading the truth about them selves, that everyone knows about anyway. PLEASE!
    Your only block is these people you seem to surround yourself with.
    Seriously, I am so angry. I am even more angry that you are bowing down to these simple minded creatures.
    Am I worried that i ahve hurt feelings about peolple I do not know. Yes. With out a doubt. Like you, I hate hurting any ones feelings. EVER. Kills me. As it does you. But to be a good writer, you have to have an edge and you have to be funny, and honest and your readers have to take it with a grain of salt andnot be so self absorbed. You did not mention one name. What is this insecurity buzzing around Aspen
    Every friend I have ever met of yours seems so wonderful. I actually feel insignificant compared to your circle. These people who are berating you and threatening you, I must not know.
    Please be you and do not let anyone make you feel less about yourself. You would never intentionally hurt anyone ever. If you do, it was just a chance you took.
    Blah blah blah
    If you give up writing the truth, I will take over.
    xoxoxoxoxxoxo

  8. Alexandra says:

    I think you have to write the truth to be who you really are.

    You have to question why you would blog any other way.

  9. Honestly, if you never offend anyone, you probably don’t have anything interesting to say. And you are plenty interesting. As you know, I blog for a local online paper, and at least every second post I write gets blasted by somebody who is miffed because I mention that parents sometimes get bored by their children, or that parents drink (yes, that one a few times at least), or that I made this or that choice in raising my kids, or because they just plain don’t like me. It’s not fun, but I’ve learned that it happens, and take heart in the fact that at least I’m not boring. If I was, no one would care enough to disagree. Stay strong and know that you are fabulous!

    Peryl
    .-= Parenting ad absurdum´s last blog ..Seven Unanswerable Questions and a Socially Responsible Conclusion =-.

  10. Lee says:

    Hey Jilly3,

    Maybe you need to post whatever offended people, cause surely we missed it! But I agree with parenting ad absurdum, if you don’t offend occasionally it is not that interesting. Besides offending people can have good consequences, they actually THINK

  11. suzen says:

    Hi Jillian! Mercy me – what the hell????? I missed something “offensive”? Ridiculous! I read the comments and totally agree – write what you want to write in YOUR style, which is totally delightful. You know Jillian, there is a whole frikin WORLD of critics out there – there are people who will be offended about just about every damn thing one could write about. And that is THEIR choice, this being offended thing.

    Your posts are a delight – so many take me back to the years of mommyhood in the trenches. And who does Karaoke WITHOUT a drink or two? Geeez Laweez, lady! If somebody has a “problem” with your writing, then they own the problem, not you!
    Stop letting this in! If you start writing some dribbly boring blogs you will hear from me and it won’t be all sweetness and light! So NO WORRIES now. Get yourself fired up and write! No cowering or apologizing allowed – I love you!
    Hugs
    suZen
    (I AM your “people”!)

  12. DEDE says:

    JILLY: BETTER TO OFFEND A FEW AND GET NOTICE, THAN TO
    NOT BE NOTICED AT ALL

  13. Kevin Heinecken says:

    Grow a pair

  14. Vivianne says:

    Oh Pooh! You just can’t make everyone happy all of the time! It’s not possible. Like everyone who has commented before me, You offend? WHERE? WHEN? Maybe that person didn’t take their meds that day? Hmmm? Ever considered that?

    Write yourself happy Jillian. Most of us only see a warm, caring, fun-loving Mother through your writing and comments! If you have an occasional peri-menopausal moment- WHO CARES? I have them EVERY DAY! LOL!

  15. Holly Bowne says:

    Well, Jillian, so far I’ve read nothing but humor and honest insight in your posts. I’m certain you didn’t do anything intentionally.

    I’ve often used my blog to embarrass my children mercilessly (just kidding!). But speaking as another who often posts honestly about what is going on in my life, I can say that by apologizing and trying to be aware of others’ feelings will make a big difference. I enjoy your posts a great deal, Jillian. Don’t you worry ’bout it!
    .-= Holly Bowne´s last blog ..Quote of the Week =-.

  16. Jillian says:

    Hello Holly,

    I’m thinking that the criticism comes when people can’t find the humor in my writing, which is mostly due to my inability to portray it correctly. I’ll work on that.

  17. Jillian says:

    Thank you Vivianne! I agree, people need to me less severe!

  18. Jillian says:

    Kevin, What????

  19. Jillian says:

    Hi Dede,

    Not sure I agree with that one. I really don’t need enemies!

  20. Jillian says:

    SuZen, I can always rely upon you to knock some sense into me and everyone around me.

    Love that, “mommyhood in the trenches,” can I use that as a title for one of my posts?

    Promise you’ll let me know if I stray away from my voice? If I ever become boring I want you to be the one to take me out back and shoot me!

  21. Jillian says:

    Hi Peryl,

    I guess we truly are in this together because I find your posts to be refreshingly interesting and I love your perspective. I gravitate to you because you are funny, positive and real.

    I say fuck em! There, I said it for the first time on my blog and there is no going back.

  22. Jillian says:

    Good on ya Alexandra, I totally agree but I have to be prepared that if I write something that could be offending people I will have to develop a tough skin and I don’t think that I have it in me. It is easier to just avoid it than to use it.

  23. Jillian says:

    Mouse, we will protect each other until we die won’t we?

    Thanks for spelling out my problems to me, although, I think you missed a few things. How about I’m a pain in the ass sometimes with a horrible temper. That I have highs and lows that drag me through the trenches, that I can’t stand being bored and a have a low tolerance level. As for being somewhat insane, don’t you know that it runs throughout our family? I think that is why we are never boring and I’m okay with that.

    I promise to listen to you and not let others take away my true essence. I love you, Jillian

  24. Jillian says:

    Greta, RIGHT ON! Let’s bring on the tequila and ask people to forgive our behavior. We’re only human!

  25. Jillian says:

    Thank you Meagan always for your poetic voice! I love your stories.

  26. Jillian says:

    Thank you Kristi, I’ll try to remain true to my voice. Your encouragement is always greatly appreciated!

  27. Jillian says:

    You know that I always listen to you Jody!

  28. Wilma Ham says:

    Bit late I know, hangover from drinking to see if I really do better kareoke when drunk.
    Always be careful to notice whose problem it is. Never take on one that is not yours.
    I do not think this was yours. xox Wilma
    .-= Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Does the way you talk destruct or create? =-.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Hi. You ok? Look, I wasn’t in Grand Junction last weekend but I will repeat some of your very own words of wisdom back to you now:

    -we all just have to give each other the benefit of the doubt and know that we are all doing our best
    -we all just need to love each other and give each other a break
    -It’s just not possible for me to call and email or coordinate everyone on the plans. It’s too much.
    -we all just have to forgive each other and know that we never mean to hurt each other

    By 40, life has left us all feeling a tinge vulnerable, uncertain and destructable where we didn’t experience it before in our late 20′s and early 30′s. You are a wonderful, beautiful bundle of vibrant vibrating energy. You are right where you are supposed to be and everything is exactly as it should be in this very moment. Now, stop thinking and tossing things around so much in your head (the torture of a writer I’m sure) and…..

    GO GET ON YOUR BIKE and smile while you ride!!! Get the seratonin flowing baby!!!

    Love YOU!!

  30. Hi Jillian,

    Kill that “superwoman”!!! Not the authentic “super” you, not that fabulous voice you possess which helps many women be honest about who they are in their day to day. Not the women who is inspiring her family and friends to do and be what they love.

    But kill those voices and influences that are trying to convince you that your wonderful self is not enough and somehow you have to explain who you are. You don’t have to explain or justify your point of view, your humour, your writing style. You don’t even have to explain your writing missteps. I can’t imagine that you wrote something truly literally offensive.

    Some people feel “offended” anytime they read something they disagree with. And others may feel offended that you may have shed light on a touchy subject in their own lives. You cannot be responsible for that. Next time someone gives you a hard time tell them – “Don’t hate the playa – hate the game…”

    I have always wanted to say that!

    You are a fabulous women and writer – and in my short blogging life – you have inspiried me to be naked and not ashamed. Keep on…
    .-= cj poindexter´s last blog ..Help! I Can’t Turn Off my Mind! Part Deux… =-.

  31. Jillian says:

    Hello CJ,

    I love what you say and do agree. I think that Alexandra from our writing group is on to something, writing under a pseudonym is becoming more and more appealing.

    What an incredible compliment you gave me and I thank you for that. We are all helping each other, I think! I am really liking what I see with your writing and am looking forward to more.

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