As parents we all take short cuts in life, especially when it comes to our vocabulary. The following are five made up words or expressions that are used quite often amongst my husband and I and our peers.
Slam the door
Definition: Having such a clean bowel movement that toilet paper is not necessary
Used in context: Coming out of the woods on a camping trip my sweet little niece, India, announced, Daddy, I slammed the door on that one so I was able to save the toilet paper.
Purpose: A very efficient way to save paper.
Definition: The invisible button on our bottom that is hard wired into our children so that every time we sit down it sends a signal reminding them that they need something.
Used in context: On the same camping trip my friend, Patty, was cooking eggs for the entire child brigade for breakfast as the rest of us relaxed and chatted around the campfire ring. After slaving away she finally sat down to enjoy some adult time. The second she sat down her booty alarm went off sending a message to her daughter Macy, who had been heavily immersed in child play, to announce that she was still hungry and wanted some cereal.
Purpose: What? You always wondered how they knew?
Definition: The wipe that discovers that there is still something left in the bottom.
Used in context: While my four year old was in the bathroom stall he announced to the world that we better be safe and do a pellet wipe before we entered the pool.
Purpose: As a parent you want to teach your child independence but it is always good to do a final wipe with the toddlers to search for any remaining treasures.
8 4 10
Definition: Hate for it to end
Used in context: As my sister’s friend from Atlanta, Holly, waved goodbye to us from the Hyline ferry boat in Nantucket she yelled, in her thick southern accent, “Goodbye, I hate for it to end”. I yelled back, “yeah, 8410 too” and looked to my sister to translate the meaning.
Purpose: My sister and I rarely part without saying “8410”.
Definition: That look that your husband gives you when he wants spontaneous afternoon sex.
Used in context: My husband often appears at an appropriate time when the kids are engaged in an activity and gives me his Sas expression.
Purpose: The less words that are used when slipping off for intimacy, the better.