Sometimes you wake up and realize that perhaps you didn’t need to follow the societal norms of marriage and then children — just sometimes.
I took a well needed spontaneous night off with two friends I haven’t seen in a very long time. In the pouring rain we hit the town of Basalt. You never know what you are going to get in this small western town but with good friends and a few martini’s the sleepy town can often come alive.
We were three lost souls at the moment, trying to make sense of our world; Sandy (the names have been changed) trapped in her hormones in the first trimester of her second child; Charlie, a true Casanova trying to find himself by sleeping with beautiful big-breasted women, single or married; and then there was me, feeling morose in my compulsion to travel the path of societal norms by getting married and having children.
We talked of the scandalous mothers who have flown the coop when they couldn’t handle the perfunctory role of raising children; of following fate or changing it because it is not what we thought we wanted; of life’s split decisions that sometimes need to be made; of mothers in oppressive situations where they have no choice but to give up their children; of adultery and marriage.
Charlie spoke of the abundance of twenty-five year old women knocking on his door late at night. Women who were easy to be around and didn’t expect anything from him. We tried to convince him that if he was looking for a long time companion he might want to find somebody more his age to grow old with. “Don’t fight reality,” we advised. At some point, those women will just make you feel older, not younger.
We tried to tell him how young twenty-five is, how lost and confused we were when we were that age and how much wiser and more confident we are now. He insisted that women his age wanted too much from him and we alluded to the fact that perhaps he needed to address his fear of commitment.
When it was time to crawl into bed and spoon in real close to Baddy, my bed furnace, I was happy that I had followed the norms and that I had four boys who adored me and who filled my heart with beautiful love, and my mind with the magic of life. I was happy to have my feet on my ground and thankful for the life that I had created for myself and my family. All was good…but sometimes it just needs a few cocktails and long lost friends to remind you of your fortunes.