Thumper put on his favorite song of the week, Let it Rock by Kevin Rudolph, and we bustled about the kitchen cleaning it up before bedtime. Suddenly he breathlessly pointed out the window at a young buck standing outside looking in at us.
“He’s so close, his face is almost smashed against the window,” Thumper said and I told him about a couple who claim that when they play Van Halen all the deer come round the house to peer into the windows. With two points on his antlers the buck looked as though he was about the same maturity level as Thumper in buck years.
“I think he wants to hang out with you and listen to your music,” I said, “and if he goes anywhere near my tulip garden in the spring we will be having Venison stew for dinner (which he and his family did – but for some reason only gobbled down the pretty purple ones).”
After all of the excitement the boys and I gargled our salt water to stop our colds off from getting worse and went upstairs to begin the bed routine. After finally getting everybody to sleep I went downstairs to pump my body up with whole garlic cloves and a good dose of Kick-Ass Immunity Activator by WishGarden to fight off this cold I have. Suddenly by my side was Thumper taking his vitamins and following me around the kitchen.
“Thumper. My love. What are you doing out of bed?” I inquired.
Looking up at me with that smile that melts my heart every time he said, “Mommy, the oldest kid should be able to stay up an hour later than the other kids. It’s my right.”
Mommy: “Well, I just read an article stating that many older male siblings convince their parents that they should go to sleep later than the others and the fact is that they are the ones who need their sleep the most. So off to bed with you.”
Thumper: “But mommy, I can’t sleep because of the full moon.”
Mommy: “Don’t use my line! There is a time when all the boy energy needs to go to rest so that I can have time to regroup.”
And so, I ended up taking him to bed and verbally walking him through our meditation process to calm his fidgeting and allow sleep to take over.
Mommy: “You are on a horse slowly walking through a beautiful safe forest, with your cousins.”
Thumper: “Mommy I don’t like horses and I’d rather be somewhere more fun with my cousins.”
Mommy: “You are in a safe dark tunnel…”
Thumper: “Mommy, that’s boring. Make it a cave.”
Mommy: “Ok, you are in a (*(&#’n) cave and your head is getting very heavy. Let it relax into the pillow.”
Thumper: “Wait, can you start over, I have to itch my butt.”
Mommy: …..“Are you done yet Thumper?”
Thumper: “No, not yet. Okay, I don’t know why my butt was itching me but I think I’m better. Can you start from the beginning?”
Mommy: “Stop milking it Thumper and pleeeeaaaasssseee go to sleep.”
By the time I was finished we were both fast asleep.
I need help here. What do you do to calm your Tween down for sleep?