School has begun, for most of us. Should we all should take one deep collaborative breathe and say PHEWWWW?
Actually, I still have Tuck Tuck at home with me until Tuesday when he starts kindergarten. It’s difficult to believe that ten years of being a SAHM and I will no longer have a little companion at home with me but I am not afraid to tell you that I am ready. Yes I feel guilty that I am ready and yes I will miss his smiling face as he follows me around the house asking heavenly questions but I am ready, so ready, to take all that I have worked so hard on in these past few years and turn them into something lucrative, without any interruption. Somebody do something, hold me down or something or, better yet, just shoot me out of that cannon to give me that jump start for it’s all in place; the children’s book/s, the Aspen’s Local Color interviews (which I’m so pumped up about I can hardly breathe), the family travel writing and the memoir, all I need to do is launch it all.
I do love my little weeds though who with every passing moment are becoming easier and more fun to be around. Tucker is asking me such mature questions and is blossoming into quite the charismatic and beautiful little boy but he still is my baby especially when he wakes up in the morning and comes into my office with remnants of babydom still clinging to his sweet baby cheeks. He crawls into my lap wearing his favorite rocket ship pajamas, that are rapidly shrinking on his big boy frame, and I smother him in kisses. He may be growing but he is still little and highly sensitive to his surroundings and if anybody says something to upset or confuse him, his dreamy round owl eyes innocently stare off into space and fill with tears as he tries to process it all. That’s when I start back peddling, fast and I bring all of my creative endeavors to a halt to focus on what is most important to me, and what spurs on all of this creativity in the first place, my boys.
Thumper who got a buzz cut the day before school, by his father, is now almost as tall as my petite Michele standing at a proud 5’1”, and he is a strapping young lad. “Brevitt, I never knew you had such a beautiful head,” I say to him as his beautiful thick locks float to the floor. “And, look at those eyes!” I go on. “Yeah, girlie eyes,” he shyly says back as I stare at his long curly eyelashes that shoot to the moon and his little dimple on his cheek. Breathtaking, truly breathtaking (he trimmed his lashes when he got older by the way and I almost threw up, they never grew back fully).
“Thumper, pinkie swear that you will always stay close to me and never shut me out,” I say to him as we sing to Eminem, the edited version, in the car together. He now sits next to me up front with Muki on his lap. He smiles and nods his head at me, just like his father, and assures me that I have nothing to worry about because he loves me, a lot, and will always stay close to me and we pinky swear on it, when nobody is looking.
And then there’s our little Axel baby who said to me the other day, “Mommy, I’ve been waiting all these years to become eight so that I could join all of the teams and next thing I know I forget to tell you to sign me up for football.” And so I run down to the head coach to beg him to sign my Axel up for football, secretly questioning why it is that I’m begging for football for my precious son. But when Axel scampers off of the field, in his little sand piper way, with the most beautiful smile on his face because he got to hit and be hit I once again see what it is all about…kinda.
I’m off this weekend to get disconnected and go camping but I wanted to ramble a little to let you know that I have not gotten entirely swept away. I’m still here and still wanting to share my stories with you and to thank you for supporting my passion of writing. It really helps me to forge ahead in everything else.
Love ya, see ya…mean it!