The Stories You Hear on the Aspen Gondola

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The Stories You Hear on the Aspen Gondola

Last Sunday I skied Walsh’s to Dumps to Face to Face to Shoulder to Face to Ridge to Face on Ajax.

On my way up to meet my friends I dove into a gondola with three snowboarding dudes, and one female. Instead of being my usual friendly self in pursuit of a possible “gondola story,” I kept quiet and listened.

Everybody who lives here knows that the Gondola on Aspen Mountain is the place to make business deals, new friends, and hear good stories. Sure, there are also dark and sexy tales to tell from gondola experiences, like the Colorado Quickie (which originated in Aspen), and the occasional obnoxious Clackwaggler, who stands the chance of being tossed out of the gondola by locals who have no choice but to listen to them talking on the phone so loudly about how much money they have in their pocket and what their latest business deal is. Celebrity or not, we have one thing to say, “D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F?” (Look it up in the Urban Dictionary). Don’t get us wrong. We commend and admire you for working hard to reach that celebrity status, but we are all celebrities for managing to move ourselves out to our little gem of a town and actually figure out how to stay here.

What would really bring me fame and fortune is to ride the gondola all day, every day and have an anonymous blog, but instead I pick and choose my stories and weed out anything that might be incriminating.

As our bucket dangled from the wires, the boy/men quoted lines from “really funny” movies, that were from my perspective more funny due to the infectious laughter that was going on between good friends, from quotes that really weren’t that funny when taken out of context.

They also had a serious discussion about how a friend should help a bro out during flirtatious conversations exchanged with the hottest single girls on the mountain, made only hotter, in my opinion, by their skiing/boarding skills and their apparent indifference to men who would love to join in on their day (yeah, you know who you are girlfriends). I agreed, a friend should always help a friend out when it comes to love.

In the last few minutes of the ride I engaged them, announcing that I actually knew the women they were in pursuit of and could help them out on my BLOG if they really wanted me to. With mouths agape they went from “Holy *&@% we’re in trouble again,” to maybe we are on to something here.

There is now a hashtag going around twitter that I swear did not originate from me, #hookinguptyson.

So here we go, if you are between 25 and 35 (I am guessing his age) and looking for the, “most eligible bachelor in town”, let me know and I’ll help to hook you up. I’ll even email to you a sexy photo of him that I took, and….I know where he works, it could be a simple thing.

If you have a story you want to share, please submit it to [email protected]

 

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