These past two weeks our mountains have been lit up in gold. But, not all of us can put it all down to mountain bike, hike or ride horses through these enchanting forests of pure white tree trunks and shimmering gold sunstruck leave.
Even in paradise burdensome life tasks get in the way of accessing that which nurtures and rejuvenates us. As someone who is all creative, sitting down at my desk and dealing with college loans, car fraud, and taxes, are not where my strengths lie, often bringing out my teenager rebelliousness, and a strong desire to flee rather than sit down and force my brain to resolve the issues that have been weighing me down since March. The desire to bind myself up in a chrysalis and wait for the universe to transform me into someone different has been strong.
Mercury in Retrograde
At these times, when life grabs you by the throat and beats you up a little (or sometimes a lot), it helps to look up what’s happening in the planets and realize that not only are we more connected to our planet than we realize, but that we are not alone in our frustrations. We are all going through this together. So when you break a bone, or like my incident, get 7 staples slammed into your head from splitting it open in yoga class in a headstand, just know that perhaps something out there feels the need to beat you up in order to get you to listen, and that perhaps now is the time to chill and not try so hard.
Tap into the Universe and the Magic Unfolds
Learning that Mercury is in retrograde three times this year; in March, August, and again October 11th, helps me to know that these life tests shall soon past, and the breakthrough moments that occur once we are through it all will confirm that we must never give up hope, and rest in the knowing that perseverance and diligence will lead to an explosion of serendipitous events leaving us stunned, and oftentimes laughing at the humor of it all.
Breaking Through Life’s Barriers
Coming out of this tough period seemed to have happened all at once, as if I had been lifted up and blasted through barriers, like a meteorite on fire, followed by an apoplectic meteor shower of manifestations with the phone and emails ringing with offers stemming from proposals sent out. Even the brain swelling obstacles I have been painstakingly bullying my way through since March, somewhat settled down… at once, culminating in a day like yesterday where it all seemed to climax in pure gold, unadulterated happiness. Knowing that this day was a gift, I let go of all the burdens and allowed myself to be in the moment, willing it to last long enough for me to get back into my flow.
The good news is that often there is comic relief when going through these tough times when we are being tossed helplessly into rocky shores. For me, twice now, the relief has come from necessary drives over Independence Pass where I listen to my version of self help books on audible such as; The Awakening by Sam Harris, 10% Happier by Dan Harris, The War on Art by Steven Pressfield, and Atomic Habits by James Clear. While driving and listening I am able to tap into a deeper understanding to what is going on, and to learn how some of my struggles are out of my control, where others stem from my own self sabotage as I subconsciously block my path towards success and happiness. It’s funny how we think we know ourselves, until we analyze what “ourselves” truly means.
My last trip over the pass, I was driving at dusk, that bewitching hour when the sun slips behind the mountains and the remaining light transforms the scenery from light and cheery to dark and mysterious. I was listening to the end of the book “The Universe Has Your Back,” by Gabrielle Bernstein. In the scene I was listening to, Bernstein and a male friend go into the woods after a few drinks to loudly broadcast a tape they had just procured of a man emitting elk calls. Suddenly, they hear something large crashing through the trees, an angry elk, close enough for them to see the steam snorting out of his nostrils as he positioned himself to fight the intruder. Winding to the top of the pass just as the story ended, I had my own encounter with an enormous lone elk, but this one was peacefully lumbering across the road directly in front of me. I have never seen an elk on top of the pass, nor have I ever seen one all on his lonesome. I was left with nothing but to ponder the coincidence, and either see it as the Universe talking to me, or just chalking it up to a weird moment in time.
In the elk scenario, the message was clear that there is definitely something greater than myself listening to my angst, and confirming that I just needed to trust that all is good in my life and all I needed to do was to stay in my flow. Chills raised the hair on my arms at the realization, but of course, that knowing dissipated when everything went to shit the next week.
The AHA! moments ebb and flow, and so I have learned that when I have the capacity to manifest my desires I need to go full force and make things happen, and on the days my biorhythms are low, I need to not try so hard and merely absorb any information passing through.
So, just as an FYI, the last Mercury Retrograde of 2019 begins on October 11, 2019 at 10:49 pm. Maybe it helps to know this in advance. Perhaps with this retrograde try just observing and seeing it as proof that there is something bigger than ourselves out there teaching us lessons, listening to our prayers or meditations, and guiding us through our troubled times. The thing is, make sure you are listening back, or you will stand the chance of missing it all, or get beaten up so you hear better. Listen to the messages. Find the meaning, or you will not grow, and we all need to grow no matter how old and stubborn we are.