Recovering From Flying With Children

tucker pict0252[su_heading size=”18″]Recovering From Flying With Children[/su_heading]

I wouldn’t say that we made it home from visiting Grandma in Florida without incident. The fact that we made it home at all is very significant. The turbulence was brutal and I was reduced to an absolute useless mess while my boys searched for land through the airplane windows. I saw the sun again and realized that we had gained altitude. What the???? The pilot announced that it was too windy to land anywhere, not Vail, not Denver, not Steamboat so we were just going to hover at 40,000′ up in limbo. Greaaaattt. I had been through this before, nothing worse than hovering when three boys have to pee and the seatbelt sign is on.

Walking back to our seats I looked at all the innocent and beautiful children and parents on the flight and felt miserable for the people who had died in airplane crashes. I hate flying! We tried to land again and plunged down into the black storm clouds. I thought about Baddy and tried to force out the image of his hearing the news that his entire family was gone. I thought about my mother and how much I loved her and needed to express that to her. I thought about my boys and how I needed to watch them grow up.

We drove home at 5-25 mph for another 2 1/2 hours on treacherous roads with no visibility. Once again I thought about how I could so easily mess things up. I finally came home to my Baddy who took the sleeping boys into their beds and came to his completely traumatized and nauseous wife. My Baddy. I had gotten us home safely.
I awoke to a man beside me and had no idea who he was or where I was. When I figured it out I smiled and fell back asleep to awaken later to freezing temperatures and Hootie-Hoo calling out “I’m Done”. Reality set in quite quickly as I stumbled out of bed to wipe my little boy’s bottom. Then the fighting began and so did the demands from Hootie-Hoo for me to spank Thumper on his bottom. It all ended with Axel in a sobbing heap on my lap. How can I protect them all from destroying each other?
We went over to Michele’s house and I sat there in a total depression as I watched her scurry about the house talking on the phone, solving the worlds problems, making smoothies and telling me about her business ventures. She did not appear to notice that I was in a huge slump. I felt lazy and obtrusive. The boys were so happy to be with their cousins but Hootie-Hoo and I were miserable when we attempted to go on a hike with them. I took the initiative and removed ourselves from the situation. Michele saved me by keeping the boys with her along with the other mass of kids she was watching over.
Tonight I forced myself to go with Cathy for our well needed Monday night hike.  We followed the hike with dinner and a few glasses of wine which was good for my soul and had a long discussion with our good friend Wolfie. He is the one who I should be writing about not me. His life is all about photography, sex, breasts and women. We decided that we would meet on his porch next week and start his story.

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