You know that sex is good for you, right? For many of us, it’s far more exciting than getting on the treadmill, and it can be just as exhilarating as bungee jumping, depending on how much of a leap you want to take.
According to WebMD, sex has all kinds of benefits: it helps keep your immune system humming (ha!), boosts your libido, strengthens your pelvic floor (so you don’t pee when you sneeze), lowers blood pressure and heart attack risk, eases pain (orgasms can block it), may help ward off prostate cancer, improves sleep and relieves stress. And you can burn about five calories a minute, so taking your time can help burn off that muffin top.
Some researchers have compared half an hour of sex to a round of light exercise like doubles tennis or an uphill walk, with the added bonus of a cardiovascular workout, stress-lowering hormones and, for women, toned pelvic floor muscles.
I can attest that having sex with your spouse is a conduit to a healthy relationship, but many people dread the prospect of adding intimacy to an already overscheduled day, especially one filled with people and children making high demands. Exhaustion sets in, and arousal is the last thing on our minds as the day ends. Yes, there’s a button that can be pushed, but unfortunately it isn’t always accessible. We feel we don’t need sex in our lives, and yet our ears perk up when we hear about or watch other people’s sex lives in books, films or shows like Fifty Shades of Grey or Desperate Housewives.
How to Fit It In
So how do you fit it in when life puts up barriers to intimate moments, especially with children? Spontaneity is wonderful, but the opportunities don’t come as often as we’d like. Let’s exit this trail of ennui and turn up the heat, shall we?
- If you have family nearby, don’t be afraid to get on your hands and knees and beg your parents, siblings or nieces and nephews to take your kids for the evening so you can enjoy a night of intimacy with your spouse.
- Promise to return the favor. It will be worth it. Write the date down, in ink, on both your calendars.
- Communicate. Ask your partner about their favorite time or place to have sex. The seed will be planted, and just the thought of it could spur flutters.
- If nighttime is too exhausting and not your time for amorous affection, let your spouse know what time works better. If it’s afternoon, schedule lunchtime dates at home. If it’s morning, set your alarm half an hour early to fit in some good loving.
- Don’t underestimate the importance of showing your partner how attracted to them you still are. Flattery and affection work wonders.
- Don’t be mystified by the word “romance.” Be creative, but keep it simple. It takes so little to show you care. A note or sexy photo slipped into your spouse’s wallet setting a time for later would suffice.
- Fantasize about meeting your partner all over again. Create exciting, forbidden scenarios in your imagination and see if that doesn’t spark your desire.
- Be careful, sensitive and caring, and stay in tune with your partner’s needs. If you’re not in the mood when they’re lavishing you with affection, don’t make them feel rejected. Let them know you love them but need to switch off and read that book or watch that show right now, and suggest a better time.
Follow this list and you may find yourself looking forward to these interludes. Be prepared to feel friskier as your intimate time together increases. What could be more fun than knowing your partner is daydreaming about you at work? And if you do plant the seed, don’t forget to act on it later and deliver the goods.
Life is too short not to enjoy the pleasures we once shared with our spouse. Do your best to bring that natural high back into your life, and don’t be surprised by the new spring in your step, and in your relationship.
