It is with bittersweet emotions that I post these pictures taken by Michele Cardamone on prom night 2018. With our boys growing up so quickly before our eyes, I meditate religiously and do yoga to do my best to slow down and soak in every moment I have with them, even if it’s spent getting reprimanded for lingering too long in their room to stay connected, or for staring too hard at their transformed faces to relearn who they are.
My boys have been my everything for more than 18 years. Although it has definitely NOT been easy learning to raise teenage boys, coming from a family of girls, I believe they’re on the right path to becoming the grown men we have done our best to help them become.
As they grow and desperately try to break free and gain their independence, while still not knowing how to cook a meal from start to finish or do their own laundry, I still wonder what I, their adoring mother, have done to mess them up. Was I too demanding, or not enough? Was I their guide as they navigated life, or too demonstrative? Was I too strict, or not strict enough? Were my expectations too high, or too low? Did I hover when I should have backed off, or back off when I should have leaned in? Was I listening, or imposing my own agenda rather than truly hearing their needs, wants and desires?
All I know is that I have led with absolute love for them, as has Baddy, and we have led them, and still do, the best we possibly can with the tools we have. Our work will never be finished, but hopefully, at this stage of their lives and ours, we have given them a solid, loving base to draw from when they need it, and the sound bites that will play in their heads when deciding which direction to move. We can only hope they will move forward with integrity, valor and honor in their every breath. We shall see, and then we shall know for sure. Until then, we watch and breathe them in, and as we exhale, we slowly allow ourselves to let them go, little by little, until they fly off.
