Raising Teens in a Legalized Marijuana State
Packing for an outdoor ed trip to Canyonlands with my ten-year-old, I contemplated the magnificently careless leap I had just made in my life. Two years ago I left Aspen Real Life to dive into the “real” world of making money and landed a job at an Aspen digital marketing firm. I had just given my notice, and I was ready to disconnect completely for two weeks.
It was a good decision to step outside myself, be around other intelligent, creative people and learn digital marketing and social media at a higher level. Leaving my life of community and travel immersion behind, I gathered my strengths and began creating content and campaigns for clients. It felt good to apply my talents to helping other businesses thrive, and I was very happy to receive that monthly paycheck and feed off the positive energy buzzing around our office.
Within those two years, our rambunctious, lanky puppy of a boy became a full-fledged teenager, soaring into high school like a gorgeous, scaly charcoal-black dragon with long eyelashes, hanging around other dragons puffing sparks of fire and herbal-scented smoke rings. Thus began my inner mantra, #shutthisdown (scream it out loud, it feels good), inspired by a bit I heard from comedian Demetri Martin after he stepped on a Lego.
So what’s it like having a 15-year-old boy cut from the same cloth as his mother, only he’s the oldest of three boys instead of the youngest of three girls… and more evolved, smarter, braver and more curious? Challenging… and informative!
Addiction Begins with Teenagers
Back in 2011, U.S. News reported on a CASA study showing that 90 percent of Americans who are addicted to tobacco, alcohol or other substances started smoking, drinking or using drugs before they were 18. The study also found that one in four Americans who began using any addictive substance before 18 become addicted, compared with one in 25 who started at 21 or older. The researchers concluded that adolescence is the most important period for the start of substance abuse and its consequences.
There has been so much to learn about raising a teenage boy in a legalized state, and I can tell you I am now completely empowered to do this thing right. It begins every morning, when this Massachusetts princess who married a badass Denver boy mentally dons her Stetson, chaps and spurs and rides bronco-style, chanting her inner mantra in preparation for this new Wild West. Let it be known: there’s a new mommy sheriff in town.
I’m gathering my posse by roping parents into a Parent to Parent Alliance, a valley-wide initiative to bring together parents, schools and social services agencies to change the climate of substance use in our community, in Colorado and beyond. Knowing that change starts at home, the alliance is about educating and empowering parents to raise substance-free youth and opening the lines of communication between parents to build a network of support.
It isn’t easy to understand how to become a more mindful parent, but if I have learned nothing else, it’s that it is NOT a rite of passage for teens to explore this extremely strong gateway drug while their brains are still developing. At the American Psychological Association’s 122nd Annual Convention, psychologists discussing marijuana legalization pointed to evidence that frequent marijuana use can significantly harm the brains of teenagers and young adults, including cognitive decline, poor attention and memory, and decreased IQ.
“It needs to be emphasized that regular cannabis use, which we consider once a week, is not safe and may result in addiction and neurocognitive damage, especially in youth,” said Krista Lisdahl, PhD, director of the brain imaging and neuropsychology lab at the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee.
“Well, we did it back then” is a comment I hear often. That may be true, but we didn’t have the scientific evidence back then that we have now. Now there is no excuse not to be a mindful parent. Just as you protected your toddlers from getting too close to the fire, it’s when children become teenagers that the real parenting begins. The fire is still there, but with far more dangerous consequences.
I know I have many obstacles to face, and it will take years to get past the tip of the iceberg when it comes to parenting teens in this town and this state. But my husband and I have progressed by leaps and bounds and have watched our son grow and take responsibility for his life. As parents, we set the parameters, make our stance on substance abuse absolutely clear, and teach him that he is the one accountable for his actions and his future.
Three Helpful Tips for Raising a Teen
- Delay, delay, delay.
- Let your kids know your stance on alcohol and substance use.
- Partying is not a rite of passage. As one local prevention director asked, “Is it a rite of passage to allow your children to shoplift?”
Where my husband and I were once very confused about how to raise a teen (and it is, and always will be, a work in progress), we found guidance from an incredible man, Joel Karr, LCSW. Joel provides a framework for parenting at any age. His counseling is counterintuitive, quite different from everything we learned in parenting classes, and simply complex.
To learn more about my work educating parents on mindful parenting, contact me at aspenreallife@gmail.com.
